THERE WILL BE CUSSING AND EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION!
(The photo is her own❤️)
I know now that I didn’t see what kind of man you are.
Had never met a man like you before.
Treasure.
Years and decades rolled past.
Did I mishandle your heart?I know nothing now. Nothing, I whisper.
Show me. Hold our hands. Closer. Warmer.
Be still beside me as long as you like.
The time is only drops. Drops. Drops.Kim Avila
LettingHerOut
10/14/2022Always for Bad Hombre.
I hope when you look back
At your past of pain.
That you judge yourself gently.
That you see yourself mighty.
I hope when you let yourself touch the scar
For just the briefest whisper of a moment
That you judge yourself gently
That you see yourself mighty.
Not every blade is forged by fire.
Only the most sought.
The most durable.
The most resilient.
The most brilliant.
The sharpest blades are the ones forged by fire.
I hope when you look back
On the battlefields of your past.
That you judge yourself gently.
That you see yourself mighty.
I hope when you are counting your coin
And deciding how tall you stand
Next to the yardstick crafted by those who know nothing.
About you. About your life.
About your struggles and your triumphs.
I hope that standing there you see
The greatness you have shared
Walking this earth with kindness, acceptance.
Sharing your laughter and warmth.
Child of fire you have walked past your past.
Swam past
Ran past
Laughed past
Cried past
And on the way made a full life.
And on the way you loved and were loved.
Child of fire set down your past.
You have carried it so far. ❤️
For my sisters and brothers. And for every child of fire.
Kimmy the Goat
lettingherout
08/10/2022
Secret location 😉
Is this a road show ? Or a shit show?
Baby I don’t know but we gotta GO!
Is this the right way or the wrong road?
Baby I don’t know but we gotta BLOW!
We can stand here talking about what used to be.
And we can stand here squawking about was it you or was it me.
But baby maybe I’m thinking
Just maybe baby I’m thinking
If we just stand here spinning in circles.
We’ll sure get nowhere fast.
Is this a comedy show? Or a dog and pony show?
Baby I don’t know but we gotta GO!
Is this the way it’s supposed to be or the way I thought you would love me?
Baby I don’t know but we gotta BLOW!
Emergency poem written exclusively for Heather Bell Pepper.
Kim Avila
#lettingherout
8/24/2032 838pm
Today.
Today feels so heavy. The effort too great. Seemingly unable to meet my obligations this fine morning.
Sunshine. Fresh breeze. Russia and China sitting in a tree. K – I – S – S – I – N – G.
My sweet sisters of the north. Wrap your courage round your shoulders tight as you send your babies off to school.
Kim Avila
#lettingherout
09/27/2022
Sweet sick Kim,
Do not question that. Just bathe in it. Your struggle is so heavy. Forgive yourself if you don’t do it perfect. Don’t worry about why they don’t understand. Hold yourself tight. Wipe your own tears sweet woman. Some days are harder than you can explain.
There might be no answers. There might be no cure. There might be no reconciliation that doesn’t feel like failure. There might be only imperfect attempts at raw human contact.
I’m not even sure if it matters why you struggle or if you should struggle. Not sure.
I have no answers.
Just wake up tomorrow and try one more day. One more day.
❤️
Published tonight so I have to read it tomorrow.
Brush, Colorado.
I just saw a man wearing a tan business suit and I had to stop myself from yelling out to him. “I’m sorry you have a life that makes you wear a tan suit!”. Make a life that makes you happy. And if that includes a tan suit well I’ll just stop being judgy!
No such thing as “just” a mother.
Simple humble glorious goddess of humanity.
Precious woman. Precious.
Magic and heartbreak and blood and pain and love.
So much love.
Don’t fear your own ferocity.
Embrace. Love girl. Love yourself as you love them.
Your creation. Your masterpieces.
The sweat. The tears. All those tears.
Shed like swords in defense of your fragile seeming yet unbreaking courage.
Lay down and rest sweet sweet mother.
Then rise.
Rise up!
Rise up!
Your gloriously imperfect struggle has given us all life!
I said LIFE! No less than LIFE!
A kiss for your forehead.
My arms wrapped around you so tight!
Mama mama wipe those tears.
You are the sunrise.For my Heather, my Tahina, my Clarissa.
KimAvila.com
Letting_her_out
#michaelkiwanukatherapy
#michaelkiwanuka
#light
#reallifeisstruggle
#believethat
#youhavewhatittakes
@michaelkiwanuka thank you for getting me through this day.
It’s not magic but YOU are! ❤️
1) Imagine the WORST POSSIBLE WORST CASE SCENARIO EVER!
2) Write it down in your phone or whatever. Be detailed. Write down EXACTLY what you are afraid of happening. If you don’t even know that ok! That’s just more options.
3) Now TRAIN FOR THAT! Make a plan. Exercise plan, supply plan, hidden bunker plan. Make a plan for WHATEVER IT IS GOING TO TAKE to get you through that scenario!
4) Possibly the most critical step. CHOOSE YOUR MISSION FIGHT SONG!
5) THIS IS THE HARDEST STEP! As anyone with anxiety or depression can tell you, taking a step, any step, can feel impossible. I know. I get it. So let’s try this. YOU choose the step because it’s YOUR worst case scenario! Only YOU know what this mission takes. So you decide the step and how big or small it is. It may be choosing your costume. It may be 2 sit-ups. It may be charging your cellphone! It’s up to you.❤️
Never give up. Get through life how you need to get through it. Don’t worry about people judging you. They are just hiding their pain too❤️ This shit is hard. But there are people who need YOU to help THEM get through it. Yep. You🥰
🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🥰
Back to Back
At last my love.
So long a road.
At last we seem to have perhaps learned.
To stand back to back.
Together. Turn the fire out not in to ourselves.
So long a road.
But here we are.
Love.
Here we stand
still standing
Together.
Love.
Did I come off as overbearing?
With my endless unsolicited and ever more elaborate suggestions.
Did it feel like I think
I’ve got it all figured out.
Perhaps my own business was the one I should attend to.
But did you know love.
That I was desperate to help you.
But did you know love.
That the place you hold in my heart is such
that I can’t just look away.
Leave you there.
Hurt and searching.
Can we make a space between us that has room for all of that?
Space enough for my fierce love.
For my mistakes made trying to scream over the thunder.
Words talked over.
Moments misread.
Can we make a space between us with room for error?
Forgiveness.
Space for misunderstandings to turn to dust.
Intentions.
Kim Avila
12/19/2021
#LettingHerOut
(Written at Kaiser clinic)
You wish me to be more calm.
More relaxed. Gently overlooking. Graciously sharing. Not jealous just loyal.
But darling. That isn’t how I love you.
I love you like a volcano.
Without warning. Exploding ash into the sky.
I love you like flames licking your feet.
My glowing jewelry lava fingers chasing you trapping you trying so gently to caress you.
Always escaping until my fingers reach the ocean.
Where they at last cool and we can be together in my fine steam I have made for us.
Kim Avila
KimAvila.com
@letting_her_out
02/20/2022
Kim Avila * Letting Her Out 